My Weekend
What a Wonderful Weekend I had at my brothers house.
I went to my brother’s house and we went to Rainbows End. It was fun and cool. The first thing I went on was the Fear Fall and it was amazing. When Igot to the top it look like I was flying in the sky. Then when I was coming down I was a littlebit freaking coming down from it.Then when I got down I felt like I was coming down from Outer Space. After that I went to have a little bit of fruit and then I went and played with my brother and his girlfriend. Then I went to the gold rush. It was a long walk.After coming from the gold rush I went with my brother and his girlfriend and we went to see her mum to see if she was OK. She said that they were so we went with my brother’s mumto see some people perform. They were amazing. Even my brother’s girlfriend’s mum liked the show.After that we went back home. I was tired after came back from Rainbows End. I went to sleep.When I woke up I went and played with the dogs. Their names are Blue Boy and Patch.They were playing around with me. I ran away from them. They were biting me from the back. I ran inside the house. I was on the laptop playing games with my brother.We were playing canvas rider. I was the champion of that game. Then I played this rugbygame. On the laptop it was a cool and fun game to play but I was losing on the rugby game.
You did have a good day! No wonder you were tired.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you added detail so your reader knows exactly what you did, and what it was like from your point of view.
You wrote about a lot of topics:
Fearfall
Goldrush
The performance
Having a rest
Playing with the dogs
Playing on the computer....
All of these different ideas need to be in different paragraphs.